Habits are the automatic thoughts and actions that we follow every day. Our brains create habits for one primary reason: efficiency. The brain is continuously looking for ways to save energy and effort, and habits are one way in which the brain works to accomplish this.
As we look to reach new goals in life, our existing habits can either help or hinder us. Sometimes, we don’t even realize this. And other times, whether it’s due to a limiting belief or a fear of changing something that has become so familiar even though it’s hindering what we ultimately want now, we feel we’re unable to create a new habit. But just as our existing habits were formed, we can certainly create new ones…new ones that will serve what we ultimately want now.
Building Healthy Habits Improves Lives
Adopting healthy habits is important to help us improve everyday lives, manage or prevent long-term health conditions, retain a more youthful appearance, and enjoy an overall feeling of well-being.
Moving Towards a Healthier Life
Here are three things we can do to create new healthy habits: envisioning the life we want (the “what”), connecting–or reconnecting–with our motivators (the “why”), and creating a SMART plan (the “how”).
Identifying the “What”
Before we start down the road of changing habits, it’s important to be clear on what end result you actually want, or the “what”. When we get motivated to make changes, it’s very common to start making changes without first getting clarity on what you want to ultimately achieve. And this could lead to confusion and frustration for you down the road.
The “what” is essentially your North Star for your habit change journey. And it’s important to stay connected to your “what” for three reasons:
To keep you focused and on track
To know if it changes (and it can)
To keep the actions you take toward it as meaningful as possible
Clarity is key. If you’re looking to gain more clarity with what you ultimately want, try asking yourself some of these questions:
What gives me purpose?
What are my current needs? Current values?
Where do I want to feel more fulfilled in my life?
What gives me purpose?
Identifying the “Why”
To connect or reconnect with your why, try asking yourself these questions:
Why do I want to make this change?
What about making this change is important to me?
How will I benefit from making this change?
What will be different about my life once I make this change?
Write these questions and answers out manually. Then, if you ever feel discouraged during your journey toward establishing your new healthy habits, read these questions and answers to remind yourself why you are making these changes.
There Are Two Types of Motivation: Intrinsic and Extrinsic
Intrinsic motivators come from the inside, and extrinsic motivators come from the outside. According to psychologists, our motivators play a significant part in creating lasting lifestyle change. As you identify your why, it’s important to be aware of what category your motivations are falling into as each category has different implications.
Extrinsic Motivators
An extrinsic motivator encourages change with the goal of fulfilling an individual’s desire for external rewards. For example, a gay man may lift weights to improve his appearance in the hopes of receiving compliments from others.
Extrinsic motivators include:
Money
Praise
Fame
Looks
Extrinsic motivators tend to be the reason we decide to create healthier habits. For example, a physician may encourage weight loss to prevent the health problems associated with a high BMI (e.g., type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol and coronary heart disease).
Intrinsic Motivators
An intrinsic motivator makes an individual feel good from the inside. For example, a gay man may start jogging every morning because it makes him feel energized and because he wants to optimize his overall health and longevity.
Extrinsic motivators include:
Health
Family
Enjoyment
Research indicates that although an extrinsic motivator is frequently what causes us to start making healthier lifestyle choices, it is the intrinsic motivator that allows us to achieve long-term results.
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Identifying the “How”: Create a SMART Plan
After identifying your what and why, the next thing to do is to figure out the how. The SMART framework can help.
Studies have shown that the SMARTer a plan of action is, the more likely we can stick to it, and therefore, maintain the new habits we want to follow. One of the main reasons this is true is because any change, no matter how positive it may be, is still a change, and that can be considered a threat by our brain’s amygdala, our fear response center.
The SMART framework can bring a sense of ease to our brains and calm our amygdalas to increase the likelihood of moving forward with whatever SMART plan you create for yourself:
S – Specific
M – Measurable
A – Achievable
R – Relevant
T – Time-Bound
Addressing Bumps in the Road
Sometimes, obstacles may present themselves on your road to creating and establishing healthy habits.
Here are some questions that you can ask yourself to get around or through them:
How can I plan ahead to avoid these obstacles?
Now that I’ve hit this obstacle, what can I do about it?
What have I learned about this obstacle, and how might I be able to tweak my next steps?
Should you experience a setback on your journey, send some compassion your way because what you’re in effect doing is rewiring your brain. You can also remind yourself that failure is not a thing as long as you’re applying what you’re learning along the way toward your ultimate vision, and that one setback cannot derail the progress that has already been made.
It’s also possible that you may not be ready to change yet, and that’s absolutely OK. Honor that. Start the process again when you’re ready.
Monitor Progress and Celebrate Achievements
Keeping track of progress is another way we can be intentional and repetitive with our new actions, and support the creation of new healthy habits. Finding an accountability buddy can also support your forward momentum. Furthermore, tracking progress allows us to determine which tactics are working and which are not, and apply those learnings along the way.
Celebrating wins along the way, something that is often overlooked, can also increase our awareness about our progress, add to our overall confidence, and boost our motivation toward reaching our ultimate goals. Share your accomplishments with a loved one, treat yourself to something, do something fun…get creative!
Gay men who would like support with building healthy habits should contact The Mindblowing Coach, Andrew O’Brien, MBA, NBC-HWC, BCC, SHRM-SCP, and schedule an appointment. Your life coach can support you in creating a personalized SMART plan and partner with you toward your goals. The Mindblowing Coach is an innovative life-coaching practice that provides the support gay men can use to live by their North Star.
Sources:
https://www.secondnature.io/us/guides/mind/motivation/intrinsic-vs-extrinsic-motivation
https://www.nytimes.com/explain/2022/health-habits-challenge
https://www.entrepreneur.com/living/the-first-step-to-creating-healthy-habits-is-smaller-than/435771
https://www.cdc.gov/diabetes/library/features/3-Steps-Building-Healthy-Habit.html
https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/effects/index.html
https://ijbnpa.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1479-5868-9-22
https://ijbnpa.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1479-5868-9-22
https://www.cdc.gov/diabetes/library/features/3-Steps-Building-Healthy-Habit.html
https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/effects/index.html
https://www.themindblowingcoach.com/life-coaching-gay-men
https://www.themindblowingcoach.com/about-andrew-obrien
https://www.themindblowingcoach.com/post/understanding-our-power-use-the-science-to-relieve-our-chronic-stress
https://www.themindblowingcoach.com/contact-mindblowing-coach
https://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2022/05/23/the-stages-of-change-and-how-to-get-started-to-make-a-lasting-impact/?sh=53ef8cec1ef8
https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/the-trick-to-real-and-lasting-lifestyle-changes
https://www.apa.org/topics/behavioral-health/healthy-lifestyle-changes
Changing to Thrive: Using the Stages of Change to Overcome the Top Threats to Your Health and Happiness (James & Janice Prochaska)